As we leave Branson and head back to Hot Springs I can’t help but think of my husband and how much I wish he was still here. On Sunday it will be an entire year that Chris has spent in Heaven. A year since I heard his voice in person, since his parents hugged him, since I heard the news that collapsed me to the floor. A year since he asked his brother to go hunting with him or asked to golf on a beautiful day, a year since he kissed his boys goodnight and told them how blessed he was to be their daddy. My heart still has a hole in it. And I know Chris’s family aches for him too. And his friends. This pain of not having him near will always be with me. My heart is nowhere near ready to move on with my life and I’m ok with that. I am still madly in love with my imperfect soulmate and I have no idea how long that takes to change, but I can tell you nearly a year later that it hasn’t changed at all yet. I sometimes reach out for him while I’m driving, crying out and wondering why he isn’t still sitting next to me. One day God will give me the answers. Until then I’ll just take it one prayer at a time. Please keep Chris’s family in your prayers during the holidays. It’s a tough time for them and for the boys and I. And please know that I’m so grateful for each and every one of you who has reached out and who has been praying since Christopher passed. It doesn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated.
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