As we leave Branson and head back to Hot Springs I can’t help but think of my husband and how much I wish he was still here. On Sunday it will be an entire year that Chris has spent in Heaven. A year since I heard his voice in person, since his parents hugged him, since I heard the news that collapsed me to the floor. A year since he asked his brother to go hunting with him or asked to golf on a beautiful day, a year since he kissed his boys goodnight and told them how blessed he was to be their daddy. My heart still has a hole in it. And I know Chris’s family aches for him too. And his friends. This pain of not having him near will always be with me. My heart is nowhere near ready to move on with my life and I’m ok with that. I am still madly in love with my imperfect soulmate and I have no idea how long that takes to change, but I can tell you nearly a year later that it hasn’t changed at all yet. I sometimes reach out for him while I’m driving, crying out and wondering why he isn’t still sitting next to me. One day God will give me the answers. Until then I’ll just take it one prayer at a time. Please keep Chris’s family in your prayers during the holidays. It’s a tough time for them and for the boys and I. And please know that I’m so grateful for each and every one of you who has reached out and who has been praying since Christopher passed. It doesn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated.

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17 COMMENTS

  1. Praying for you…we are from the same hometown (College Station) and while I’ve never met you I feel like you are a kindred spirit of sorts. 🙂 I don’t know how I came to follow you or know where you are from but your messages make me smile. Hugs

  2. thank you for allowing us to be apart of your grieving process, i love how raw and real you are about losing somebody so tragically and suddenly. praying for some sort of light at the end of your tunnel ❤️

  3. You’re such an inspiration! Praying for you and your beautiful family. I can’t even imagine the strength it takes to start every day. You are a wonderful mother. Proud of you.

  4. I am inspired by your strength and outstanding faith in God throughout this hard time for you and your family! I will be praying for your family through the holidays and every other day to keep up your strength. You are such a strong beautiful inspiring women! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family ❤️

  5. Hi Tiff… Sometimes I think of you and your boys… I feel sad because I can imagine the pain. But I’ve said this before here on comments… Your boys will be very proud of the mom you are. I know that isn’t easy to be a single mom(well I’m not a mom yet because I’m 18 but I can see that is not easy) but you are doing a great job! God will take care of you and your family and Christopher will always be in your thoughts but someday will get easier… I hope it gets easier for you! May God bless you and your beautiful children and everyone around ya.

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