I’m sure I’ve posted this picture before but I just love my boys’ expressions so much. In a way they both look just like their dad here, even though they don’t look like twins. The holidays without Chris just aren’t the same. I’m feeling very emotional lately and stretched thin. I am reminded daily of just how imperfect I am as I fail multiple times to get things right, to react with a Christ-like spirit, to not let the absence of Chris make tough times even harder. As a Christian I am supposed to be an example but some days I just feel like breaking down and today is one of those days. If you have a loved one who has lost someone please be merciful with them. Forgive quickly and show love. Remember that even though they may seem tough on the outside their heart still may be shattered on the inside. Give them extra hugs. If someone offends you, talk it out and forgive. If someone has a bad attitude, maybe they are having a rough day so show some mercy. If someone isn’t making the best choices in life PRAY FOR THEM and encourage them. Invite them over for dinner. Send them a letter about how much they mean to you. That’s what Christ would do. The busyness of holidays this year has been really hard for my heart and I’m pretty much losing it emotionally when I get home each night. Grief never leaves, it just presents itself differently as time goes on. Still unexpected. Still painful. Still raw. I wish Chris was here to eat the leftovers and hug me and show me mercy and grace. Instead I’ll leave that up to the Lord and push through like I always do. And stare at my perfect little gifts from God that will always keep a piece of Chris around.
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